Sakuma doesn’t know what comes over him, he doesn’t know when was the last time love has ever felt so consuming, so overwhelming— so free. He feels like his heart shouldn’t be racing this much, he feels like his breathing shouldn’t be this heavy, but he’s just so in love, he loves him so much.
He lights up his skies, he makes his heart race, he is all that is good in the world, he is everything Sakuma needs. But he just doesn’t see that, he wants him to see that, he wants to be all he sees. So, when he thumb over the polaroid they took on his graduation, he can’t ignore the way his face burns and he brings the picture to his lips, pressing a delicate kiss to his silhouette. He was so perfect.
Sakuma is just worried about him, it’s only right to keep an eye out on the ones you love, right? He’s doing this out of love, it doesn’t hurt that he doesn’t know it, Sakuma is right, he’s always right, he’ll see it someday.
So, when he places the picture down back on the desk, keeping it back into the locked drawer, he smiles to himself at the countless items filling it up. His pen that he lent Sakuma, it was his favourite pen, Sakuma knew that, but he just had to have it. Various pictures taken of him without his knowledge, but Sakuma doesn’t see it as a bad thing, he’s just keeping them for memories sake! Not like anyone else is ever going to see it!
“Kyomo…” Sakuma whispers softly as he reaches out for the shirt he kept tucked in the drawer, sure, he stole it from Taiga when he went to visit his house, but Taiga never really brought it up anyway, so it must’ve been fine.
He knows he shouldn’t when he takes the shirt out and presses it to his face, he knows he shouldn’t feel the tightness in his pants, he knows he shouldn’t let out that small moan when he feels Taiga’s scent fill up his nostrils. Sakuma revered him like he was a God, like he was just a lowly worshiper. And that’s exactly what Taiga was to him; a God.
Before things could escalate further, Sakuma stuffs the shirt back in his drawer, shutting it close and turning the lock with a shaky hand. He faces the empty white desk for a moment, steeling himself before he lets himself go again.
“I need to see him…” He mutters to himself before nodding in agreement (to himself) and leaves the house almost immediately.
Sakuma knew his reputation as an idol would crumble apart almost immediately if anyone knew what he was doing, but it’s great no one has to know, not when he’s perfectly curated a mask for the public, one so impenetrable, one so flawless, no one would ever think about what goes on in his mind; much less what goes on in his heart. Plus, why would anyone want to know? Sakuma is Sakuma, he’d never do anything wrong.
And that’s exactly what he believes when he climbs up onto Taiga’s balcony from the unit below (Sakuma found out months ago that no one lives below Taiga, he saw it as a sign from the Heavens to stay closer to Taiga), his curtains already drawn close but Taiga doesn’t close it all the way, he always leaves a small crack between the fabric just to let in some natural moonlight. Sakuma finds this extremely endearing.
Taiga’s back is facing him as usual, his dim phone brightness lighting up the small corner of the room faintly, his brown hair laid lazily against his white pillows, duvet draped over him creating a soft outline of Taiga’s body that made Sakuma shiver.
He presses his hand to the glass and imagines what it’d be like to be under the covers with Taiga, to feel his smooth skin, to be pressed against him, to feel the rise and fall of his chest, to listen to his gentle heartbeat. Sakuma is completely under his spell and Taiga doesn’t even know it.
He knows Taiga is a deep sleeper, and a quick one at that, so he naturally gets excited when he sees him set his phone down on the side table, pulling the covers over him until he’s tucked in the way he likes. Sakuma waits patiently, letting at least half an hour pass before he slides the balcony door open (he broke it ages ago, but Taiga is foolish and thinks it still works) His movements are silent, you’d never hear him even if he right behind you, a small skill Sakuma learnt over the years, he didn’t actually think he would ever put it to use, until now of course.
He kneels onto the mattress, letting his weight dip into it before he crawls under the covers with Taiga, his heart hammers in his chest, so much so he swears he can hear it in his own ears. He slowly snakes his arm around Taiga’s waist, holding his breath and waiting to see if he wakes up, but there’s no sign of consciousness, so he continues.
He presses his chest against the younger man’s back, letting out a shaky sigh at the closeness of their bodies; he almost wants to claim him for himself, but he knows better than that. He settles for laying down next to Taiga, imagining all the things they could do if Taiga would just give him that fucking attention he craves so much. Sakuma hates how he acts oblivious, Taiga was in love with him, he just didn’t know it yet, so why is he all over Hokuto when Taiga’s heart belonged to him?
He knew he couldn’t take Hokuto out of the picture, it’s too risky, considering their careers. So, he tries to create a wedge between them, feeding Hokuto lies here and there, manipulating him into thinking Taiga hates him, making it seem as though it was a truth Taiga was saying behind his back. He doesn’t know how Hokuto is naïve enough to believe it, but he’s grateful for it anyway.
Maybe he made Taiga sad, but it’s for his own good! He had to protect him, he had to keep him safe, he wishes he could keep him locked away forever so that at least Sakuma would know he’s safe from the world. It has tempted him before, but they just had to be idols.
At this point, Sakuma really doesn’t care about his job, he has enough money from his trust fund to last him three lifetimes, enough to keep Taiga with him forever.
He buries his face into his nape, breathing in his scent, “You smell so good, Kyomo…” Sakuma whispers quietly, pressing fluttering kisses all over his nape, littering them all over his shoulder blades and spine.
Sakuma runs his hand up Taiga’s white shirt, the latter still fast asleep given his faint snores, “Please forgive me, Kyomo… I can’t help myself… I love you,” The older moans against his skin as he continues to press his lips against Taiga’s delicate skin.
“I love you, I love you, I love you,” He continues to mutter against his skin like a prayer, hoping his words reach Taiga’s subconscious, hoping it makes him fall in love with him, if not, there would always be other measures to keep Taiga for himself anyway.
His touches turn greedy as he grazes past the dips of Taiga’s body, feeling his cock twitch in his pants, Sakuma can’t help the slight whimper that leaves his mouth. He wanted so badly to feel Taiga’s mouth around his dick, gentle tongue swirling around his sensitive tip, fuck it sends Sakuma into a dizzying haze.
He pulls his hands away when his breathing starts to get laboured again, needing to control himself again before he does something against his own better judgement. So, he slides out of the bed, his heart already aching at their distance, but Sakuma has to be patient, his plan will fall into place soon, it was only a matter of time.
Sakuma walks over to the other side of the bed and watched Taiga’s sleeping face, mouth parted slightly with eyelashes touching the skin below his eyes so softly, he was just so perfect.
Sakuma leans down to press a kiss to Taiga’s lips, a chaste yet tender kiss, wishing he could do this when Taiga’s awake but he pushes those thoughts aside for now, just watching him silently with a faint smile on his face. He brushes his hair to the side with a trembling hand, his hair so soft under his fingers, unlike Sakuma’s fried pink hair.
He lets his gaze linger for a moment before he notices the slight stirring from Taiga and he immediately leaves the room. Quietly closing the door and watched from the small gap between the curtains, Taiga shifts in bed and rolls over onto his stomach, cheek pressed against the pillow, lips pouting a bit and Sakuma can’t help but snap a quick photo, admiring the sleeping face of his (soon-to-be) lover.
When he’s fully satisfied, he climbs back down to the balcony below Taiga’s apartment. Jumping down onto the flooring, he walks out of the empty apartment and leaves the building swiftly. He’s surprised no tabloid sites have caught him, but with his pink hair tucked into a baseball cap, mask over his face and all black outfit, anyone would just mistaken him for a rando, anyway.
Sakuma returns back to the comforts of his home, sitting back down onto his desk chair with a deep sigh. He throws his cap off, ruffling his hair to adjust it and pulls out something from his pocket. Just a few strands of Taiga’s hair to keep close to him at all times.